The past weekend, my brother and I went do a program headed by one of our mother’s friends. It’s called Blackboard Chicago and is a summit for black men from all walks of life to come together and try to help each other be better men (both for the family and community as well as ourselves). When my mother pitched it to me, I will admit that I was hesitant. I didn’t necessarily know what all of that would entail but in my mind, I envisioned a day full of older men complaining about rap music and why the boys were skinny jeans.

Still, I was trying to get out of my comfort zone so I agreed to go.

I was actually pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t what I feared at all. It was a good mixture of men from the area and beyond of all ages allowing themselves to be open as well as a little bit vulnerable. There was an emphasis being yourself and not the self you present to the world which is something we don’t often get to do. There was also a no judgement rule so people could share their opinions and grievances without feeling nervous.

Many of the exercises revolved around finding common ground with one another, looking inward, and opening up with a person you might not know. There was also space to brag on yourself a little bit which I needed to remind myself that I’d done a lot of incredible things.

When it was all said and done, my brother pointed out that it was probably one of the few positive experiences we’d had with older black men in a church and I realized that he was right. So many of our interactions with older black men came were in a church environment and often the interactions would be flat or patronizing. There was always a wall or coldness to it that I sort of became used to and expected. So it was refreshing to be around men who could allow themselves to be open enough to voice their doubts and insecurities which often mirrored my own.

I didn’t know what to expect, but I am glad that I went. I will admit that I didn’t completely let my guard down and I regret that, but I would definitely go back next year.

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[Originally written for my email list/newsletter back in April.]

Around the anniversary of my father’s passing, I was speaking to my mother and she reminded me of something that happened that I had honestly forgotten about but is still an interesting story.

At my father’s funeral, I delivered the eulogy. Leading up to this, I had put a lot of time and effort into putting it together. It was my final farewell to my father and I wanted to say what he might not have gotten to or share things people may not have known. When I was finished, I felt I’d made something very real, very heartfelt, and incredibly personal.

After giving the eulogy, I left the paper on the podium and forgot to get it as the casket was carried out. When I went back the paper was gone. Originally, I had just thought someone from the church had picked it up while cleaning. This was not the case.

A local man went up, took my eulogy, and slipped it in his pocket. I repeat, he took the words I wrote for my dead father and walked out with them. To be honest, I wasn’t even offended, just confused. What was the purpose of that? Did he like it that much? I could have printed him out a copy. I joked that maybe he liked it so much that was going to retool it for someone else’s funeral. I don’t think it was malicious, but it was pretty strange.

To this day, it just struck me as such an bizarre thing to do. I was proud of the work I put into it, but I didn’t think it was worth taking. But I guess the lesson I learned was that if you put enough work into something, someone will come along and try to take it.

So when I say don’t let them steal your eulogy, what I really mean is don’t let people just take things the you worked hard on or hard for. Don’t let people take something you’ve put your heart into (intentional or not) without your permission. I see this happen on the internet to lesser degrees (cropping out signatures on art, etc.) and I feel the same way. Don’t let them do it.

But if you happen to give the eulogy at a loved one’s funeral, be sure to put the paper back in your pocket.

[If you found this just a little bit interesting, consider subscribing to my weekly email list. By signing up you get a copy of one of my newer (and not widely available) comics.]

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[Originally written on October 7th for my Email Newsletter.]

September 30th was the Indianapolis Literary Pub Crawl and I was still unsure of what to expect or if what I’d prepared would be enough. I spent the morning getting ready super early and then walking in circles nervously checking to make sure I had everything. After about the eighth time, got everything tossed into the trunk and hopped on the road.

Because I wanted to have time to sit down and relax before it all started, I set it up so I’d arrive at the hotel about two hours before the event. However, I ended hitting heavy traffic maybe half an hour out of Hammond and ended up stuck for an hour. Then closer to Lafayette, I ended up stuck behind was must have been a pretty bad accident that also ended up causing everyone to cram into one lane. I had planned on arriving at about 2:30/3:00 PM ET but I finally got into Indianapolis around 4:25. After getting a quick bite, I hopped in the car and found my way to Fountain Square.

I got turned around a few times, but I think I made it to the venue at around 5 PM. As soon as I arrived, I sat down and signed the copies of Clusterf@#k. I’d left the books sealed when I shipped them just to be safe so I had planned to come in and sign them before they let people in. However, the venue seemed to be pretty packed when I arrived so there ended up being more than a few books that were unsigned. Still, I managed to sign most of them (and definitely more than 100 books).

When it was my time to take the stage, I was told that I’d have 15 to 20 minutes to do whatever I wanted. That felt like a lot of time and I was a bit nervous, but I had decided to do a reading of the first chapter of Clusterf@#k and then do a Q and A session. When I’d practiced, I originally hadn’t given the characters voices when I read through but changed my mind later. I’m glad I did because it got a great response. People loved it. It probably didn’t hurt that people had been drinking for at least half an hour beforehand, but it went much better than I could have expected. Afterwards, people seemed very excited about the book.

I also managed to run into several people with unexpected connections. One of the volunteers was actually friends with my cousin. Another was friends with my friend and college roommate. I even met someone who signed up for my email list at a convention earlier this year! He had wanted Clusterf@#k but didn’t get it (which he’d regretted) so it was great that he got a copy of the book with his ticket.

After the opening was over, we were split into groups and went to our first bar. Each group was named after the title of a book. I didn’t have an assigned group so I joined the Slaughterhouse Five group. I hung out with a small mix of people who had been there before. One of them was dressed as Ms. Frizzle from The Magic School Bus and a others were dressed as Alice in Wonderland characters. Everyone was really welcoming. As we traveled from bar to bar, people started getting a good buzz and becoming more comfortable. I ended up having some interesting conversations. Most of the conversations were either insightful or entertaining and only one made me mildly uncomfortable. It wasn’t a conversation so much as some one making a statement prefaced by ‘this is probably really inappropriate but…’

Still, it was more random than anything and it was something that I could easily laugh off. Who knows, it may even show up in a story later on.

At the very end, all of the group reconvened at the final bar for a costume contest and a raffle where they gave away a ton of prizes. One of the women in my group won multiple prizes but I think she bought a lot of tickets. After everything was over, I thanked Erin for inviting me and headed back to the hotel. I got up at the crack of dawn and was able to make it back home before noon.

It was a new experience, but a very good one. I am thankful for the opportunity to do something I’d never done before and a chance to share my comic with so many people. I was pretty nervous these past few weeks leading up to the event, but the events I’m the most nervous about end up being the ones where I have the most fun and feel refreshed afterward. So, I’m really glad that I got the chance to go and hopefully I can do it again.

Also, while I’m sure I’m not the first comic creator to do a live reading in front of an audience, I’m almost positive I am the first to do so in Indianapolis… while wearing a Pentagon Jr. t-shirt.

After a couple weeks, I finally trimmed the poster down and fit it in a frame.